An Alternative to Cigarettes - Shizuo X Reader

“_____!”

You raised an eyebrow at the clearly angered voice, flicking through the magazine in your hands nonchalantly. You weren’t really reading it; you’d picked it up off the coffee table as a distraction. But you were determined to keep up the act of being immersed in the crappy tabloids when a tall figure stomped into the room.

“_____!” The voice wasn’t impressed in the slightest. With a loud sigh, you rolled your eyes, flipping the magazine closed, before looking up at the owner of the voice.

“My goodness,” you began, your voice dripping with sarcasm, “I must be in trouble. What have I done wrong now, Shizuo?”

The man above you was practically quivering with rage, and you couldn’t help but feel concerned. He was going to pop a blood vessel if he didn’t calm down.

Of course, getting the infamous Shizuo Heiwajima to calm down wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world.

“My cigarettes,” he growled out, his fists trembling, “give them back.”

“Your what?” you narrowed your eyes at him, before leaning back in your chair, opening the magazine once again and beginning to read, “I don’t have your damn cigarettes...”

“You’re the only other person who lives in this house. You must have them!” he snapped angrily, digging his nails into his palms. He was trying to keep calm, really, he was. But after going so long without having a cigarette, he was beginning to feel rather uptight.

“Why the hell would I want to take your cigarettes away? I hate the things,” you countered, flicking onto another page.

“Exactly,” he ground out, “you’ve been wanting me to quit for weeks. But this,” he stabbed his finger in the direction of his pants pocket, “this shit isn’t funny...”

“Okay, what shit?” you sighed, once again placing the magazine down in front of you, “enlighten me, Heiwajima.”

The young man let out a muffled angry grunt, before reaching into his pocket, and pulling out what looked like a pack of his normal cigarettes. You recognised the crappy brand from a mile away.

“...Am I supposed to be seeing something different here? That’s the same brand you usually smoke,” you murmured, really not understanding what the problem was.

“It’s not the pack,” he muttered, shoving the box into your hands and folding his arms across his chest, “it’s what’s inside the pack.”

You raised an eyebrow at him confusedly, before shrugging your shoulders, and opening the pack.

Silence.

And then came the peals upon peals of hysterical laughter. Shizuo could feel his teeth grinding together as he watched you clutch at your stomach, dropping the pack onto the chair beside your magazine.

“Holy shit!” you laughed, inhaling deeply in an attempt to get some air back into your lungs, “I forgot I did that! Holy hell!”

“It’s not funny, _____!” he yelled, snatching the pack back from the chair, “give me back my cigarettes now!”

“Oh, relax!” you giggled, finally able to breath, “It was just a joke. Besides, smoking those is definitely a lot healthier than those cancer sticks you usually smoke!”

“I’m not gonna ask again, _____...give me my real cigarettes back,” he ground out, flipping open the pack and pulling out a ‘fake’ cigarette. How he hadn’t noticed a lot sooner had baffled you; you’d simply shoved a bunch of plain white candy sticks inside the packet and ran, dumping the real cigarettes in the trash outside. It must’ve been a while since he’d had his last smoke.

Well, at least he was smoking less. The time it had taken for him to find out about your little trick had proved it.

“Oh, c’mon, Shizuo,” you smirked, getting up off the chair and walking towards him, “it was just a joke. A little harmless fun, is all. Besides,” you came to a stop in front of him, before taking hold of his waistcoat and pulling him forwards slightly, your chests now touching, “you’re a lot more attractive when you’re not smoking...”

“I’m aware,” he muttered, apparently not amused by your attempts at flirting, “but that still doesn’t change the fact that I want them back.”

“How about I treat you to dinner to apologise instead?”

“No.”

“I’ll even buy you desert.”

“No means no, _____.”

“What about if I let you do whatever you want with me? It’s been a while since you’ve been rough with me, after all...”

“You’re not getting laid until I have my cigarettes back.”

“Damn it!” you hissed, “I don’t have them! I threw them away!”

Yet another moment of silence.

“...You what...?”

His voice was no higher than a whisper, and you felt your blood run cold.

“Uh...what I meant to say was...s-smoking’s bad for your health, Shizuo! I was only looking out for you!”

”You...threw my cigarettes away?”

“A-And, passive smoking’s a killer, y’know, Shizuo...what kind of environment are you trying to bring our future kids up in...?”

“You threw my cigarettes away.”

“I c-could’ve been a lot meaner, y’know! I could’ve left the box empty, instead of filling it with sweets! You should be thanking--”

You let out a scream as you felt yourself being lifted up, and the wind was knocked out of you when you went flopping down against Shizuo’s shoulder.

“S-Shizuo! Let me go!” you shrieked, pounding at his back as he began to carry you through the house you shared.

“You want me to be rough with you, right?” his voice was still deathly quiet, but the words he spoke sent a jolt of heat running through you, “well then, prepare yourself, _____. Because you’re gonna be begging for mercy by the time I’m finished with you...”

A shiver ran up your spine, and your face lit up in a deep blush. You’d definitely have to steal Shizuo’s cigarettes more often.

“And after I’m done, you can go out and buy me more cigarettes.”

Okay, maybe you’d have to hold back on the cigarette-snatching. Even if it was just a little bit.

After all, you weren’t even sure you were going to be able to walk after this.